halloween!

surprise baby shower and end of work

Friday was my last day of work! I loved my kiddos...super sweet. I am looking forward to relaxing a bit. Before I left my coworkers and some of the parents threw a surprise baby shower for me: we ate, played games, opened presents. I was really touched by the gesture. Although under unfortunate circumstances, it was nice to go back to a place where I felt so welcomed.

And now...refocusing on baby-growing!

birthing class graduation

Last night we have our last birthing class. The energy felt good and spirit seemed high. One couple is expected this Friday so we were afraid they wouldn't make it to the last class but Baby held on!

One exercise we did was to make lists of the following topics related to that postpartum time:
1. Important People
We listed people who we would feel comfortable calling upon for help if needed. Then we starred the people who would be our 3AM people: the people who we might call in the middle of the night. "Even though you may never call them at 3AM, it's nice to know who you can go to if you need it." Our teacher made an interesting distinction between guests and visitors. She suggested that, in the beginning, we see people who won't expect or require to be entertained, but rather people who feel comfortable helping themselves to a drink or would like to help do the dishes while they're there.

2. Food sources
She asked us to make specific lists of resources for food. Mike and I decided it may be time to buy a freezer for the basement in hopes of recruiting both Grandmas to help us build up a collection of frozen homemade meals.

3. Bliss List
We made 3 separate lists of things that we love to do (with or without baby, with or without each other). For us this ranged from going on walks, visiting farmers markets, going on hikes, drinking coffee, visiting friends in SF, to traveling. And then she asked us to just think about when we will be able to get to these things. Some might happen soon in Baby's future and other might have to be put on hold for a little while.

4. Challenges and Solutions
List of things we think might be challenges to us and potential solutions. We shared out and the most popular was to invest in having a housecleaning service for that deep-clean type of care. This: very tempting. Mike and I also talked about how we are going to communicate with each other when life will feel so different and we will feel so different. Our teacher said the number of arguments/conflicts increases from 30-80% postpartum. Yow. So we talked about practicing mindfulness and communicating intention (if one of us is feeling testy, acknowledging it and maybe not engaging in discussion right at that moment). I was also reminded of the 1-10 scaled that was recommended to us at our wedding shower: using a scale of 1-10 to communicate how important something is to one of us.

COPING PRACTICE
Again, the buckets of ice came out so we could practice coping strategies (ice simulates contractions). This was intense. I had to stick both my hands in (up to the wrists) and Mike and I had to figure out how we were going to cope with my pain. Things I learned:
- Keeping my eyes open much better than closed! Being able to focus on something was helpful.
- Mike rubbing up and down my back to match my breathing was very calming.
- Mike's voice was very soothing. It was helpful to hear him talk about sensations around us: what we were seeing, hearing, smelling, touching. We also tried visualizing our recent trip to Yosemite.

GRADUATION
Inspired by Mike's suggestions, the group hung out afterwards and got ice cream/frozen yogurt nearby. It was a nice time to just chat with other couples. There is one couple that we've hung out with a few times before, so we got a chance to meet the other ones as well. I made the mistake of eating too much ice cream and had a sugar crash afterwards...bad mommy.

34 weeks & Yosemite

This morning we woke up surprisingly early for a Saturday and decided to take a spontaneous trip before spontaneity becomes a little harder to come by. So we hopped in the car and headed for Yosemite.

It's a rainy day in California but we luckily didn't get dumped in too much. The granite giants lingering over us were spectacular and the fog and clouds only made the scene more spectacular. We went to Glacier Point, a spot you can normally see amazing views of the valley, but we were heavily immersed in the clouds and could barely see 20 yards ahead of us. It was actually quite cool to see such intense and surprisingly bright fog.

like father like daughter

There was a request for us to post more pictures of Mike.

We are hoping Baby will be as sweet as her daddy-o.

33 week belly

Lately it feels like she's growing every minute. No doubt...there's a little human in there!!

LABORinth

Birthing From Within borrows the idea of the labyrinth's symbolism of life's journey. They wittingly name call it the labOrinth. As I interpreted it, at the center of the labyrinth is our baby. We enter the labyrinth intending to get toward that goal: to safely retrieve Baby. As we begin to walk, we realize there are moments when we feel really close to the center...birth is near! But then it turns out we're asked to turn a corner and we're sent to what feels like the outskirts of the labyrinth.
Once we reach the center and (YIPPEE!) get to hold our baby, we have to then guide ourselves out of the labyrinth with Baby in our arms.
I really liked this symbol, not only for labor, but for life. If you've ever walked a labyrinth, you know it's not a maze: there are no traps to try and keep you from getting to the center. As our teacher said, in a labyrinth it's not about making right or wrong decisions, it's about persevering.
My indecisive ways often lead me to crossroads where I feel physically paralyzed by having to make a decision. It might be while standing in Safeway trying to choose laundry detergent or figuring out in what hospital to deliver our baby. I know our lives are filled with moments where we do have to weigh what will be the best decision, but what I'd like to practice is the idea of moving forward toward goals instead of dwelling on "what if"s and regrets.
In babyland it was also comforting to think about this process as not having any "right" answers. We will do the best we can and persevere.

boobies!

We went to our breastfeeding class at Kaiser, led by a lactation specialist. It was a long class but was very interesting. Hearing more about what life will be like with the little one, I couldn't help but feel in awe of the biological process. One big thing they stress/encourage is to get as much skin-to-skin contact with the baby, especially during the first weeks. Within the first few hours, having the baby resting on my chest or belly not only helps milk production, but my body is actually designed to adjust its temperature to accommodate the needs of the baby. Wow!

I had heard how women sometimes lactate when they're thinking lovingly of their children. During the class, we were watching a video and we were both quite struck by how special and sweet that interaction between baby and mama was. All of a sudden BAM BAM BAM! Baby was moving like crazy for much longer than usual and much more rhythmically. So I wonder if she was feeling the rush of oxytocin.

little puffball curiosities

"Puffball" is a student at my school (she would always be sporting an all-pink outfit including pink tutu on free dress day. Oh yeah and I'm working in the classroom again as a long term sub). She is a very sharp and curious child and seems to be quite intrigued by my pregnancy. Each day she seeks me out to chat.

Day 1: "Ms. Lê, do you know I you're having a girl or boy?"
Day 2: "Ms. Lê, do you have a name yet? If it's a girl, Jennifer's a nice name."
Day 3: "Ms. Lê, if you have a boy, dont you think Kevin is a nice name?"
Day 4: "Ms. Lê, are you married? Does your husband rub your belly and talk to the baby?"

After each conversation she giggles, we share an awkward moment of quiet, then go our separate ways.